eMERGE Guelph

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eMERGE Street Fight

June 4 @ 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM

 

Imagine a virtual Street Fight with politicians ‘trash talking’ to prove: ‘My EV is better than yours!’

We know politicians are up for a good fight. They tend to have different views of the world and tastes in EVs. Now four of them are sharpening their ‘trash talking’ skills to one up each other.

They’re fighting to brag that:

“My EV is better than yours!”

All of these politicians got rid of gas cars and moved to electric. That one decision dropped their greenhouse gas emissions by 4 tonnes per year. Pretty impressive eh? And, yes, they also walk, bike and take advantage of public transit as well.

This virtual Street Fight will be … all fight…all EVs…without the usual politics.

Trash talk is encouraged.

However, if they get out of hand, we’ll use that tried and true Canadian disciplinary tool: a penalty box. One that mutes the offending politicians. And if that’s not enough then their video will be shut down.

What could be worse for a politician than being silenced and invisible? They’ve all been warned!

You’ll have to wait to find out who the arbitrator/judge/referee will be. Patience friends.

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What would a street fight be without onlookers. You’ll have the opportunity to ‘vote’ for the politician that’s convinced you that they have the best EV. Or maybe they were the funniest. Or most deserving. Or the one that annoyed you the least. Or the one you felt obliged to vote for because they were in your grade 6 class. Or the one that fixed the pothole in front of your house. You know, kind of like when you vote in a real election.

Street Fight: My EV is better than Yours!

Thursday , June 4, 2020

7:00 PM – 8:30 PM

This is a free event but registration is required. To simplify the process we’re asking you to register via Eventbrite so that we can do a better job of keeping track of registered candidates.

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Here are your Street Fighters

They’ve decided to start early with intimidation tactics. Some are pretty scary while others maybe not so much. But we wouldn’t want to influence your decision too much. Instead we’ll give them a bit of a ‘poke in the eye with a sharp stick’ to help create the ambiance for the evening.

Apologies in advance to the grammar cops.

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Mike Schreiner | MPP for Guelph, Leader of the Green Party Of Ontario

… and Street Fighter

Mike calls this: “Hold my beer while I scare the others” look .

Really?

We bet his mom would tell him to wipe that smirk off his face. We’re pretty sure he’d comply in a hurry!

In fact, Mike’s been known in political circles as being a ‘nice guy’.

A nice guy? In politics?

Recently, super top secret reliable sources informed the eMERGE Intelligence Team (ya that’s a thing) that he’s actually in the running for the Lady Byng Trophy at Queens Park.

Wouldn’t a hockey team’s enforcer have a better chance winning a Street Fight than a nice guy Lady Byng Trophy winner wannabe!

Could this be a deceptively devious diversionary tactic from a street savvy kid that grew up “in the hood”of a prairie family farm?

We have to wonder what the odds makers do with Mike.

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James Gordon | Guelph City Councillor, Ward 2

… and Street Fighter

Councillor Gordon’s childhood is steeped in the underbelly of downtown Rockwood’s back alleys. Those creepy streets made him into the ruffian he is today.

Leaving all that behind, he paddled his canoe down the Eramosa River to the megalopolis of Guelph. There he found his true calling: the mean streets of politics.

He claims to have street cred. The last politician that gave him a hard time can be seen in the back seat of his EV – lacking a heart beat. That yellow haired guy in his car looks surprisingly like a leader from south of the boarder!

In case you didn’t notice, Gordon’s bloodcurdling, sartorial opulence is topped off with a frightening fedora (it better be a Guelph Biltmore!). His always fashionable bib is strategically placed on his chest to catch the big chunks that miss his mouth. All of this is grounded with a pair of recently sharpened pointy toed spit kickin cowboy boots.

Look out Lady Byng Trophy wannabe. These boots are made for kicking!

(next time someone should tell him to wash his car for a photo shoot)

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Phil Allt | Guelph City Councillor, Ward 3

… and Street Fighter

With some guys it’s all about the tools. Or is it the big-boy-toys?

Allt shows up for the photo shoot with an EV that cuts four tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions per year compared to a gas car. He’s doing the right thing. Right? Then he adorns himself with a loud, gas guzzling, two stroke, polluting chainsaw.

What was he thinking?

He could have stopped with just the ax, but noooo. His opponents are gonna have a field day with this one. Even Nice guy Mike is gonna ‘smirk’ all over him for that move.

However, Gordon’s spit kickin boots would be toast in seconds with that disgusting polluting ICE (internal combustion engine) chainsaw.

We’ll have to watch out for any other toys this lumberjack wannabe brings to the Street Fight.

We’ve all seen the network journalist reporting from home without wearing pants. Along that line, Allt didn’t get the official City of Guelph memo entitled: During a pandemic always check for pants before leaving the house.

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Leanne Caron Piper | Guelph City Councillor, Ward 5

… and Street Fighter

We think the boys should be worried. Really worried.

There aren’t many politicians that can kick above their heads.

Think it’s easy? Go ahead, try it, we dare you!

She did Karate for some time along with gymnastics and still does the splits. However, super top secret reliable sources informed the eMERGE Intelligence Team (ya them again) that the splits are usually easier for her if Tequila is involved.

Can you say “kick ass political Street Fighter with pink boxing gloves”. That has a catchy ring to it doesn’t it?

Her last street fight left her with a black eye and stitches. Take a close look. If you think that’s nasty, you should see what happened to the 6 guys that disagreed with her.

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Organizer

eMERGE Guelph
Phone:
519-763-2652
Email:
Rasha@emergeguelph.ca
Website:
https://emergeguelph.ca/

Venue

Online
eMERGE ON Canada + Google Map
Phone:
5197632652
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